remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
