I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize