I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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