i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
