You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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