I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
