Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
