I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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