did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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