My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Dicks are not precious.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
