Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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