Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
