I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize