I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize