i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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