I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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