And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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