You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
