he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
