so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
