Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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