officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
