I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
