her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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