Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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