May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
