tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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