Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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