Ketchup is God's man juice
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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