Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
