that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
