i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
