so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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