I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
