uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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