You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
