he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize