Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
