hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
