i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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