Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
