So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
