it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So squirting runs in the family.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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