she takes plan B like it's going out of style
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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