When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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