I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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