his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
