"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
