well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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