quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
