I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
