I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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