Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
