if only i could text you this smell
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
