I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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