Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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