I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
how drunk are you?
Several
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
