never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
false alarm. still invincible.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
